Seeing Eye-to-Eye

How do you reach 'an amicable solution' when one party feels hard-done-by? Is this even possible? From which party does the reasoning have to come from? At what point does it get through to the 'hard-done-by' party, that resisting makes it worse or is destructive? What would make them want to be constructive, anyway? In my situation, why does the argument seemingly always come down to his perception that if we do it my way, he gets nothing of what he wants and I get everything I want? Really? How does one logically reason this out? Let's simplify it with examples of differing wants, and perhaps we can work out where the logic is breaking down....

What if I want you, but you don't want me? Then we would have to define "want"- so lets say, I want to have sex with you, and you don't want to have sex with me.

Letting Go

Well... the plot I laid out in My Private Soap Opera didn't work out too well! One month later, to the day, he was not satisfied that his share of the Trade had been adhered to well enough by me, plus, he had broken my deal-breakers by discussing our (particularly my) sex life to others.

During this time, two quotes really struck a note with me: 'Promises are worse than lies, because you don't just make them believe, you also give them hope; for something you're not sure you can do.'
and 'Betrayal of the self in order not to betray another is the worst type of betrayal'.
So once again on this 22nd day of the month, during a precious scheduled time to myself (which was the major part of the agreements we had reached), I sat down and the following words flowed out of me, producing this letter which I presented to Him:

My Private Soap Opera

When was the pilot episode of this soap opera of my relationship?
This is not an easy question to answer... a reference point was earlier this year when I just HAD to come up with a solution to the very real problems in our relationship which were getting worse - and without having defined or clarified them, even within myself, I took the symptoms and tried to find remedies for each. This was the best I could do at the time. I had not yet gone through the painful months of analysing and distilling the emotions, all the reams of reading in books and online, trying to find some sort of root causes.
After a very late night tearful and emotionally draining discussion, where I broached the subject of what I needed now in my life and maybe we should consider trying it out, and we did... for a whole month, then all hell broke loose...