"Once we are both behaving as our true selves, at each moment, then who knows what change in the relationship will develop? Can we just lighten up please? I would like to stop all bickering, sarcasm, complaining, arguments, accusations, nastiness, and only say pleasantries to eachother or nothing at all. Behaviour between us in private and in front of our child and anyone else will be calm, relaxed and positive at all times. Also, let's give up on analyzing everything. Lets start with a clean slate where we both aim for a positive outcome for the other wherever it is within one’s power i.e.: neither will not purposefully try to make things uncomfortable or difficult for the other – that we work off the premise that neither will try to ‘destroy’ or ‘sabotage’ or ‘punish’ the other by, for example; - sending damaging emails, removing house or car keys or locking the other out, emptying out bank accounts, or having the attitude, ‘if I go down, I’m taking you down’ – any revengeful or vindictive behaviour...
> Friendships (separate or mutual) are to be encouraged eg having girlfriends around for drinks.
> Private times (including alone-times, activity, study, sport or craft times etc) as well as together-times are not recorded nor added up.
> If either wants to venture into previously unexplored territory which the other knows something about, they are more than welcome to ask for help and advice, which will be given without any judgement as to why they want it. There is no obligation on either party to explain why they want it. It is presumed they are choosing to do it because it is the ‘right’ choice to make for them at that time and represents who they truly are, or their highest ideal of who they choose to be.
> Both of us are permitted to keep things private – like notebooks or things in strong-boxes or backups from computers or whatever - and the other will respect that privacy – always with the understanding that there is no malice or threat and that nothing will be done to purposefully ‘screw’ the other thereby. (see details of the sabotage point made in previous post).
> Private times (including alone-times, activity, study, sport or craft times etc) as well as together-times are not recorded nor added up.
> If either wants to venture into previously unexplored territory which the other knows something about, they are more than welcome to ask for help and advice, which will be given without any judgement as to why they want it. There is no obligation on either party to explain why they want it. It is presumed they are choosing to do it because it is the ‘right’ choice to make for them at that time and represents who they truly are, or their highest ideal of who they choose to be.
> Both of us are permitted to keep things private – like notebooks or things in strong-boxes or backups from computers or whatever - and the other will respect that privacy – always with the understanding that there is no malice or threat and that nothing will be done to purposefully ‘screw’ the other thereby. (see details of the sabotage point made in previous post).
> I really enjoy doing things with you and planning things together when you have your usual ‘think big’ or ‘do it now’ or ‘make it happen’ attitude.
> I love sharing time with you when you don’t take life so seriously but treat it as a game, when you are not trying to prove anything and we are on the same wavelength, and when you display your sense of humour and make me laugh.
> I enjoy making love with you (obviously, when the mood is conducive).
> I love having long and complex 2-way non-judgmental non-instructional conversations with you.
> I love living here together in the same house with the sense of stability it offers.
> I am happy to continue the normal care of the family (cooking, cleaning, washing, transport, accounts, business contracts, banking, etc).
There is no obligation to account for one's whereabouts.
Sharing both time and information would be enjoyed, but not demanded – if there is nothing to fear, then it does not matter.
Sharing both time and information would be enjoyed, but not demanded – if there is nothing to fear, then it does not matter.
I don’t see any point in including any previous Rules, Schedules and Deal Breakers : If we have the above goals and basis from which to work, there is no need for them.
I reiterate what I have said before, so you can put your mind at ease: I assure you that whether we stay together or split up, now or in the foreseeable future, there is NO desire or drive felt by me to pursue or develop any other serious relationship or get married or create a partnership.
Written with love, honesty and an open heart."
WELL - how could I be any clearer? To me this spells it out in the most detail I could come up with, and yet - the story continues....
...I continue it in my next post: Pendulum Swings
...Read the first half of this Final Letter here: Clear as Mud
...Start at the Beginning of my Soul becoming Visible, go here: The Exposed Me
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